I was unintentionally part of a production for “Collider” back at the end of June this year, and never got around to checking back in to see what became of it until the other night. Read all about that------AND MY SURVIVING A "HOSTAGE SITUATION"-----BELOW! (Gawd, I love baiting people, I think it's a sickness)
"THE SORRY LITTLE TOUR," June-Sept 2017
BACKSTORY--to promote my film-like sci-fi adventure/dark humor series "Misterguy," and my original songs/music, I started something earlier this year called the “Sorry Little Tour." Completely self-promoted-and-funded, it began in the summer with Titan Comics in Dallas, and ended with The Alternative Press Expo in San Jose in September. During those months, I had the GALL to set up and attend several signings between Dallas & Houston, even flying out alone to the Los Angeles/Burbank area to be part of Emerald Knights' independent comic creators convention on July 1st. While I was in Hollywood, I built in visits to the other indigenous comic book stores as well, in order to market my comic directly, with each one's advance permission.
One highlight during the LA leg of my tour was a signing at Meltdown Comics on Sunset Ave. I really loved working with the staff there, everyone in LA was so friendly. Apparently back in April/May when Meltdown first told me I could come on the 30th of June to do a comic book signing, I didn't know they were fitting me in on the same day they were also going to have a visit from COLLIDER----for an interview with none other than Martin Starr of "Silicone Valley"! It's so exciting, you just never know what's going to happen next or who you're going to see when you're in Hollywood, and that's why I love it.....and its amazing weather.
I'd had JUST enough time to run around and put ALL of my POSTERS/BANNERS UP EVERYWHERE, including my Misterguy promo in the front doors of the store, then set up my table with the first issue of my comic and some funny shirts that I designed, before Collider came waltzing in through the front doors.
INSISTENCE WAS FUTILE
Immediately seeing the opportunity in what was suddenly happening, I left my table and spoke with the coordinators and camera crew of Collider well before they actually had to start filming. I quickly explained who I was, that I was there with Meltdown's permission that day, and also that I had an original comic to exhibition if they could spare 5 minutes to interview me later after their main work was done. I mean, how many women in their 20's(and not tied down with a kid) are literally running around all by their independent selves like THE Lara Croft of art & music, traveling everywhere to promote her own music albums that don't suck, and actively creating a comic book series all on her own that looks/feels like it was made by a team of several people? That'd make a GREAT story, ANYTIME, if you ask ME, but common sense is just in such rare supply out there, yeah?
Anyways, my ABUNDANT HUMILITY aside, I have learned a LOT this year---namely that it DOESN'T PAY to be an "indie comic creator" because, in fact, YOU are PAYING....FOR EVERYTHING....and very few people take you seriously when it's just you and no one else is around to make you look more "important." I'll simply be working harder now than ever before to find a viable publisher for my comic and record label for my music..............but ONLY because it's a free country, and also, I may be slightly suffering from severe masochism.
BELOW: Here, in the beginning of the video, TWO of my posters can be seen in the entry doors of the store.
S'MORE BELOW: There I am in my screenprinted ribcage tanktop, military-style overshirt with shoulder-straps, and blood red jeans tucked into black boots, while SURROUNDED by merchandise and posters that only I can take credit for producing and setting up. (Reeeaaaal humble about that.)
HILARIOUS HOSTAGE SITUATION
OKAY OKAY, so, on with the story. I managed to get Collider to look my comic and they were impressed enough to allow their cameraman to take some video and pictures of my table and me while waiting for their guest Mr. Starr to arrive so they could start their project. However, they never did anything with what they captured of me that *I* know of, nor did they ever follow up for an interview, but it's not like anyone owes me anything, so no hard feelings......ESPECIALLY SINCE ME AND MY WORK PROMINENTLY, VICTORIOUSLY APPEARS ALLLLLL OVER THEIR VIDEO!! YOU JUST COULDN'T CROP OUT ALLLL THAT SORRY LITTLE SHARKY, COULD YOU!?!?!
I say that in jest, of course, because although it was hard to avoid my presence there, they could've gotten different angles if they were going out of their way to avoid me. Hee hee hee. I give 'em props.
The indirect exposure also kind of makes up for the hilarious "hostage situation" I and Meltdown's customers found ourselves in for what seemed like nearly TWO HOURS of filming. Without being offered any kind of incentive, we were simply told by the Collider crew not to talk during the filming because it would "pollute the audio." They were nice about it, but eh, it was what it was. This time would have been a TOTAL loss for me trying to talk to new customers about my work, if it were not for the gentleman seen sitting at my table there(SEE PHOTO BELOW), in the blue shirt, about halfway into the video. He had walked quietly over to where I was marooned, and picked up and read my work with me while we sat snickering over it together. That meant a lot.
Near the end of the video, when they go to 'checkout' with their merchandise at the cash register with the associate later on in the video, you can see my white poster of the little melting smiley guy that says, "MELT!! P.S: DIE" casually taped up on the counter. (below)
You're probably thinking, "Wow. Is there ANY place in that store she didn't totally try to dominate...? Gawd, kill it before it lays eggs....!" but you know something, when I GO, man, I go ALL THE WAY, I do.
"And then there's running, and, and, and screaming."
To wrap things up, here's ANOTHER apt quote from Jeff Goldblum, as he put it so eloquently in Jurassic Park(my first movie in theaters and one of my top favorite films of all time including 'Aliens,' & 'Terminator Judgement Day,'):
'Nuff said. Thanks Jeff!
With Relative Sincerity,
Yeah, and ESPECIALLY sick of seeing the iceberg one?
You know the one I'm talking about....the tip of the iceberg signifies your success, whereas the part of the iceberg that lies under the water, unseen by anyone else, is over 20x's the visible part of the iceberg and signifies all the hard work and effort that goes into your success. Blah blah blah, it's clichè, overused, doofy-----so here's MY take on it.
Look for posters of "Iceberg: What REALLY Lies Beneath" at A.P.E.
I'm not sure why it's such a difficult concept to grasp, every time, when people meet me and start to become familiar with my work, but YES, I am the *one and only person* responsible for the creation of this website and E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G on it. EVERYTHING. Every video, all the lyrics and vocals and production of every song, all the writing, and paintings, and comics and cartoons. What good does it do for me, when I'm still working day jobs like everyone else?
Well, art and music keep me in the spectrum of 'sane,' though that's not saying much because I tend to like to hover right at the brink anyway(the view is prettier, there). But maybe someday it will all be worth it, closet optimist that I am; or maybe not, and next time you try to check on this website, it will be gone, along with all social media presence. For after all, I only look at the glass as half-broken, my friend.
WAIT-----you're not my friend. Get out.
Barbra Dillon at Fanbase Press recently conducted a written interview with me about my work, my thoughts on inspiration, influences, and the creative process. Iffin's ya gives a dang, check it out at THIS LINK!
Get some popcorn, because I'm long-winded, and expecting that no one will care enough or have the idea to watch all of the videos I've done to explain a lot of things about my work, so it re-explains a lot of things.
Go.....live long, and prosper, or SOMETHING.
The one you see below is going to be my last personal one for a while...I hate making my own promotional videos, it's not a hobby, it's a necessity.....AND, I only put them on youtube so I can link them to my website for free, unlike Vimeo and other platforms with their stupid time restrictions. However, know that I know what isn't working, I will focus less on promo and more on just printing the next 2 issues of my work and bringing it to people DIRECTLY(a.k.a. the numerous signings/exhibitions I have done so far and will continue to do) instead of mindlessly putting video promotions and posts out on Reddit and YT and other slums that no one is engaging me on.
IN-PERSON engagement is where it seems to be at. Although it's aggravating that other people can do stupid s*** and get 6-digit views on their videos, and I can't seem to get more than 10 views on original content I spend weeks, even years creating, while going crazy and being stuck working mindless corporate jobs that are barely paying the bills....I don't base my worth on a 'channel' and 'views' and 'subscriptions', you see, Youtube is a crude tool and a platform---not an end all be all, but an end to some means.
I am so thankful for the people that I have met and have as fans so far....but as for getting the big numbers online? No bueno. Despite tagging everything correctly on every social media platform, and putting great original music and comics out there, it's crickets for me. The online hordes----I can't click on links and do searches of my stuff/new stuff for 'em, they have to not be lazy and actually want to see something new. NOW, when I hand people my comic IN PERSON, or let them listen to a one of my songs, the first thing I hear is, "OH, WOW---YOU DID ALL OF THIS??!!!!" and they start excitedly flipping through my comic, murmuring how they can see this turning into an animated series. I always just quietly nod and smile, before finally saying, "I'm working toward something like that." And I can accept that, because no one promised me a rose garden. I mean, a venus flytrap garden would be my aim, but...no matter.
As I have said, it doesn't take talent, education, and ambition to make it big; those are only catalysts to the chance things that happen. It takes exposure, connections, and numbers. But connections are difficult.....that phrase forever etched in my mind, repeating itself over and over again like a spell......but "difficult" is not synonymous with "impossible." And that's why I'm giving it the whole year. I've got APE in September(paid for in February, have been counting down ever since) and Comikaze in October, so I'm going to do my darndest to get it out there and make the right CONNECTIONS....there's that word again.
I don't NEED fame if I can't have it. I'm a nomad, an adventurer. I don't care for traffic jams and f*****g POLITICS, and other B.S. people think is such a big deal. In my mind, there's a world bigger than what you can fit a day, a week, a year, or a DECADE into. I'm anachronistic and I OWN IT. I'm not stuck in the here and now like everyone else---- I see the bigger picture, and I, as Rick and Morty puts it, live to "break the cycle." I'm prepared once again to take off and leave civilization behind at the end of this year, whether that's working security jobs in the Marshall Islands, or becoming a Yachtie...there's a world waiting out there for me to see it and stick my boot up its.
"But you're a woman!"
I'm no feminist, but what's your argument? I know 4 different forms of martial arts and have ZERO fear of death, mainly because my problems would be over...and see, when you don't have those silly mental barriers of "fear of death" and "fear of the unknown" or "fear of that weird little cat that's been following me for an hour now and is actually a shape-shifting alien ninja assassin sent to take me out, so my minutes are numbered..."
....then the whole world opens up to you, waiting to be explored. Ravaged, even. Waiting to let me once again get completely lost inside and dissolve into a vast expanse of 'comfortably numb' obscurity. Alone. That may sound lonely to you, but it's my cup of tea, and mine to drink. It tastes like Oolong, steeped for about 5 minutes and with about 3 tsp of honey stirred in. Only because I wasn't in the mood for matcha today, I wanted something a little smoother and sweeter to drink. And I just ran out of Jasmine, and Earl Grey, SHOOT, gotta get those restocked.
When you've walked dark streets alone in dangerous cities and everyone leaves you alone........when you've taken hikes in the dead of night with nothing but a wooden staff and a flashlight and you hear wolves howling in the distance.........you begin to learn that you're scarier than 95% of what's out there that could hurt you....and that whatever does have the balls to challenge you, you can probably take it down to the grave with you.
I am now playing dirty, shamelessly creating clickbait and tagging things to my work I have loved for years like Invader Zim, Rick & Morty, NIN, MSI, you name it----NO MORE MISSES NICE GUY...just so people will click and be exposed to something new that they would love if they'd only give it a chance. Self-promo is exhausting, even my 3-minute latest and last attempt to make a short video as a "clickbait" sacrifice.
Surprisingly enough, I'm not in it for the money or the fame. I have a very specific reason I've been suddenly inspired to get the work out there this year, and the same very specific reason I will disappear once again if all fails. Hate to sound so dramatic, but there is something bigger out there to me than getting famous and rich and this COMIC or my MUSIC are NOT my end-all-be-all's. Ultimately, I try not to expect so much out of reality so that I won't be disappointed when things continually don't go my way again and again, leaving me with less faith, and more and more with nothing but empirical data. I'm no fatalist...and yet not completely nihilist.
I am neither claustrophobic, nor agoraphobic.
I am the middle ground between light and shadow.....
....between the pit of men's fears.....and the summit of his knowledge.
I AM the f****n' Twilight Zone, bitches. Suck on THAT.
If you’ve never heard of my comic Misterguy, or my music(Sorry Little Sharky Vol. 1 is the latest album), then well ain't that Jim-dandy, here's a sorry little documentary on my work over the last few years.
FREE music samples and LOTS of SPOILERS as I talk about my new comic and music. It's more than you probably ever wanted to know, but you know what?! -------I don't know actually, I forgot where I was going with that.
Anyway, enjoy the video. OR, go do your laundry. That’s pretty useful too, if you don’t wanna wear stinkrags around for life.
P.S. I am now on Reddit and Pinterest, even though I barely know what they are OR how to use them. QUAINT!
Made this Tumblr a while back and never used it! Noticed the world is still turning & life went on, so no harm done, but here's ONE more area of the web I've infected that I can check off the list.
Since then, I've also been trying to figure out Reddit and Pinterest, whatever the hell THEY are. Stay tuned.
SIMPLE FACT OF LIFE: IN THE ADVENT OF A NEW ALBUM RELEASE...THERE ARE CITY-SCAPE INSPIRED MUSIC VIDEOS.
EVOLVE Music Video, for the NEW SONG on my album "Sorry Little Sharky Music, Vol 1" soon to be released JUNE 16th. Some people are content just to DRIVE to beautiful cities, but clearly, until now, there have been missed opportunities to turn said drives into MUSIC VIDEOS.
"EVOLVE" Lyrics (c) Stef Schultz
Forced to evolve
Forced, forced to grow
Forced to take what's mine
and not let go
For years I was blind
Now I'm past the starting line
Of course I'm terrified
But I will find you
Right the whole time
I'll look you in the eyes
I'm more afraid of what
I do not have to lose
Forced to evolve
Forced, forced to grow
Forced to take what's mine
and not let go
Forced to emerge
From the shadows
Gonna take what's mine
and not let go
“Misterguy” has been with me ever since I could hold writing utensils and not stab my young self in the head with them...HE SIMPLY REMAINED IN SAID HEAD AND JUST NEVER...SHUT...UP. I kindly hope you’ll read and love my new comic, which is full of unnecessary spaceships, harmless murder attempts, and visits to the sun to explain why the character’s world suddenly turns from black and white to COLOR in the middle of the story---rest assured, it is not without a darn good explanation or two.
OKAY, here's the explanation some of ya's have been waiting for; I'll be heading out ON TOUR starting June 29th to LOS ANGELES, where I will spend 3 days attending book and comic signings at a stores in and around Burbank, ending up at Emerald Knights Comics & Games for their all-day "Indie-Pendence Day" event on Saturday, July 1st.
But the whole enchilada ain't going to stop there; I live in Houston, so there's always something cool happening here, signings are inevitable, and for starters, I'm going in for an interview with Comic Indie regarding my work, at St. Arnolds, 2000 Lyons Ave in Houston, TX. It will be filmed on the 6th, so probably released soon after that.
ALSO, we've got yir ALTERNATIVE PRESS EXPO in San Jose in September. Never a dull moment.
And if there ever WERE to be a dull moment, I would have to kill it quickly, before it lays eggs, you see.
I'll update the poster as more opportunities come to fruition! I'm sure you're all writing a book about me and my life, so this is good stuff, be sure to take notes!!! Just don't drown in my ocean of sarcasm.
...to the OFFICIAL BLOG
OTHER BLOG POSTS THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WEREN'T LOOKING: