If you feel like you should be laughing at it from start to finish, that means I have accomplished my goal. I do love a very Monty Python sense of humor. Not sure how to release the song yet, but the video should be enough to entertain, for now.
Complain allllll you want that the video/song are too short, but I think a full minute of me running around in the woods like a heathen little banshee is ENOUGH...if not too much. I like to keep my music 'short and sweet' instead of conforming to structured verses and tedious repeating choruses; if this has kept me from the fame I once craved, then so be it.
I wrote/composed 'Marionette' over a year ago, a month or so before I moved to Texas, when I was briefly living in Florida again. Not sure how long I'll be in Texas EITHER, but I accept both the uncertainty AND this nomadic tendency of mine, as they have unceremoniously culminated into the ironic 'constant' that has resembled 'excitement' in my life. Speak of the devil, Life was so frustrating for so many years because I kept fumbling over compelling sets of coincidences and finding myself foolishly expecting all of them to collate into meaningful purposes----as if Life were an equation that could be solved by implementing or removing variables, rather than realizing sooner that it IS, in fact, an infinite river of utter vanity and cacophony....and making myself learn better how to simply stay afloat in it. I'm not entirely sure what I want out of life anymore, but my expectations for it have lowered so significantly that it might actually be a more bearable existence from here on out.
Holistically, the video jumps around a lot....and there IS also a lot of actual JUMPING involved(my legs were sore for days!)...but the story portrayed actually has as much meaning as you allow it to, much like Life. A word of advice for you: you may not like where your life is at a given time, but you should always appreciate everything you can about it....because you never know at what point in the future you'll be looking back and thinking...."those really were the good times."
The puppeteer's gone----
But you never stopped moving
Look what it's done
you've torn away
from your cords
Now you are free to dance
to a tune of your own design
No one is coming
You must leave everything
It's up to you to find new meaning
It could be anything
That's what is so exciting
Nothing was meant to be, you see
Precious little means anything
All the world is your stage
Cut your strings
NEW SONG INBOUND! Draft, at least. Warning, it will sound less like noise and more like music if you listen to it from speakers/in headphones and not from your phone speaker. Keep in mind the song is free for a reason...."THIS IS NOT ITS FINAL FORM....." ha ha ha.
"Broken record" is the feeling you get when your life seems to repeat itself again and again, and that was the inspiration for completing the song. HEY, it ain't perfect, but hell, neither am I, this is a draft/demo, I just want to get it out there because it's got a great message. Enjoy the newfound optimism in its words.
It's been a while since ya'll had some new music from me. I hope it helps others, like it has helped me work through some things; the first part of the song is about a decade old; the rest came along in the last month and a half, taking different plays on words and just running with it, in a decidedly rampant manner.
I WAS NEVER going to release ANY of these, but some of their lyrics are clever enough that I didn't want the effort to be totally ignored or unknown. I'm not ever going to get to quit my myriad day jobs to do music OR comics OR anything else and be famous. But you know what, that's all right. To quote one of my favorite actors, Jim Carey, "People should all become rich and famous....so they can discover that's NOT what life is all about." It's nearly impossible to be discovered in an overcrowded world, populated by people who don't have the intelligence God gave a brass monkey. If it's not rap music, or some perv repeating the same line 50 times in 3.5 minutes, with lots of "oh, baby" and "love" so it sounds like EVERY other song out there, it just goes over most people's heads and 'isn't marketable'. I've tried every year for the last 10 to get labels to sign me on or agents to represent me, but in a world where you LITERALLY NEED AN AGENT TO GET AN AGENT....so on and so forth....it's not going to happen.
I even thought it would be cool to meet another artist who might want to take some of this and help me do something with it, but I think I don't know how to interact with the right people for long enough to get anything accomplished. The more I like someone, the less they want to do with me, it's uncanny. I think I fundamentally just can't communicate correctly. Anyways, I'm done trying to protect the music from the world, afraid to share it because someone is going to STEAL IT? C'mon. I can barely get anyone to listen to it, let alone want to do anything with it.
I just want it all off my harddrive.
LYRICS for RAISE HELL:
Futile, infantile, and all around absurd
About to loose my grip from hanging by your every word
I'm only bitter 'cause I've tasted just how sweet you are
And I don't think a little loyalty makes me bizarre
I'm in your every circle, but the circles never touch
In this Venn Diagram, nothing I do could be "too much"
Over the top, over the line, over myself
There's no kill like overkill, get ready for a bloodbath!
Will you make me raise hell, to give you heaven on earth?
What do I have to do, to show you that you're worth-----it?
Will you make me raise hell, to have heaven on earth?
What do I have to do, to show you that I'm worth-----it?
(c) 2017 Stef L Schultz who rather than waiting to be discovered, knows it is much more likely that she will simply be discovered *dead*, heheh.
"LOST CAUSE" LYRICS:
and far away
I was another person
in another place
with no one to accompany me
I did my investigating
Peered through dirty glass into other lives
back when I felt the need to join them
Always the same thing again and again
ALWAYS TRAPPED ON THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN
".....is there something wrong with me..?....
......is there something WRONG WITH ME...??"
The rest of the lyrics are in my head, but I don't feel like typing them, there's nothing in it for me.
(c) ancient history I don't remember the year.
"ULTIMATUM" written 2008, SL SCHULTZ. RE-recorded 2018.
Some people sit by ponds, throwing crumbs to birds as they contemplate the futility of their respective existences; I sit around and write/record songs like these. You achieve the same result either way, be it birds or words.
Something listen to me
give me something to live for
I'll pray 'till I lose my faith
Can't play the part anymore
Please tell me I can escape,
and still have a place to call home
Eternal loving embraces
Warm hands held in my own.
Black cowl of Death,
I recorded most of the 3-painting commission I did recently, and decided to do something more obnoxious than the usual 'speedpainting video' with the footage.
No special allegiance to Youtube, but Vimeo makes you pay to have larger videos. So I stick to what's free for as long as it is free.
I was poking around through old files and found this artwork, for a story near and dear to my heart but one that is not together enough to report about just yet. I'll be getting back to it soon.
Over the last few weeks, I have had a flattering number of requests to update my blog, which is pleasantly surprising, seeing that I, both as a writer and just in general, tend to be a BIT verbose…and if I were to expect most people to read ALL that I write, I think it would be asking a lot. Of 'em.
Also, I hate the word, “BLOG,” and I can't be the only person who feels that way....?
With all that in mind----actually, FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID! Hear what I'm ABOUT to say if you give a rat’s you-know-what; otherwise, those possessing insufficient hindquarters of Rodentia may wish to leave now, and you will find that the exits are behind you on either side of the room. Please form a single file down each row, and DO be orderly about it.
Oh, P.S., when you open the doors at the end of each row, to exit, be careful or you’ll step out into a massive pit of nothing other than...you guessed it, *RATS*!!! STARVING, no less!!
THEEERE, now see, I KNEEEEW you’d all come CRAWLING BACK.
LET'S BEGIN, SHALL WE!?
-The website is being updated again. It is a time-sucking void.
-Thank you Texas, the signings I have hosted here this year have been a saving grace, the comic book stores have been SO kind, and I am SO thankful for the fans that not only met me the first time around, but then came back and visited me again....you have no idea what that means to me, and you're appreciated greatly.
-BASED ON DEMAND, I WILL EVENTUALLY be making more T-SHIRTS---once upon a time, I made as many larger-sized tees as I did small and medium, but I ran out of those very early on. I thought that I needed to try to sell ALLLLLL the other sizes before I could afford to make a new run, but THAT'S not gon’ happen, SO I just need to get back on track money-wise, and then find a t-shirt printer again, and then charge more for the shirts than $5 in the future. Presto.
-I WILL probably be printing more of MISTERGUY Issue #2 next year, and then hopefully also finishing and printing #3 before the end of 2018 (not sure how many of either, because it costs over $2,200 to print just 1k books no matter what printing company I think of using). I should be doing newer, improved work, getting the boxes of the first issue I have left into new stores again, or even trying to submit the work to active publishers that aren't too big for their britches...but I need a break from it all for a bit, I do all the work it usually takes a team of multiple people to do on a fraction of the budget, and that budget is gone now, so I am starting a new job.
-I would LOVE to get a phone video game made. It will likely not happen next year, but I at least have my foot in the door of the IDEA. Trying to get a hold of some folks I met at the American Film Market that seemed VERY interested in working with me at the time...but you know how THAT goes. So, if THAT fails (as failure is an omnipresent variable in most equations), you have just cause to point and heartily laugh at me next time/if we meet, whoever you respectively are. Just grant ME the FIRST laugh, to get things warmed up.
-I would MORE SO love to get into animation, but there is a lot I have to learn and improve on, and I don’t live in Burbank (yet) to pursue a job anyway, so, baby steps. In addition to being able to hang out with and learn from friends like Dave “PEZ” Hoffman and his buddies at Warner Bros, and Stephen Worth and JoJo Baptiste of Frederator, I also spoke briefly at CTN with Isaac Marzoili, who is currently working at Nickelodeon. He told me his wife didn’t decide to get into the animation game as did he until she was in her 30’s, therefore I feel as though I, currently being 26, still have a pinch of time left….....unless a rogue satellite....OR a stray missile.....or BOTH (hell, I'm feeling LUCKY!) simultaneously come screaming down at me from out of the sky and mercifully render all my aspirations and/or worries gloriously null and void. GIVE IT UP FOR COMPLEX SENTENCES AND ADVERBS, PEOPLE!
2017 has…CERTAINLY had its share of ups and downs for us ALL, I’m FAIRLY certain, between multiple major hurricanes and all the flooding and mass loss of power THOSE entailed, and now all the heartbreaking fires happening in California. I personally have chased every dream I possibly could this year, and must remember: dreams rarely come true, but they DO serve SOME purpose, because as long as you're 'dreaming,' at least you have fewer nightmares. And yet a lot of things went better than planned, despite the odds. I did budget for 2 of my 5 business trips this year, so I ran into trouble with Comikaze, AFM, and then CTN all being back to back. The events were EXTREMELY valuable and strategic, but were not helpful to my wallet in the here-and-now, so I’m having to strategically regroup.
About what I said in the beginning up there-----for some, this may seem a little out of nowhere, but the thought of becoming a Fire Fighter is highly logical, as I have witnessed many a fire, and emerged the victor despite initial paralyzing fear. Besides, I've faced things THIS year that were even scarier to me than when I was in that burning apartment block, kicking and pounding on everyone's metal front doors upstairs and downstairs while on the phone with 911...to get my neighbors out of their units because there was no fire suppression system and no one was hearing the alarms I was MANUALLY having to set off......so....I KNOW I will be juuuuust fine fighting fires for a living once I jump through the hoops it takes to be eligible to make it my profession. Not to sound scary (I think that just comes naturally), but I do NOT want to be on this earth FOREVER. I want to save more lives by being ready to give my own, not wait until I go BALD one day from stress, or just not having any HAIR, (...?) and then an eagle thinks my head is a rock, so he drops a turtle on me to crack its shell open and eat it, but this actually spares the turtle and kills ME INSTEAD, INSTANTLY, like Aeschylus, OKAY? 'Kay. Just so we're CLEAR on that. I am a THOUGHTFUL PERSON, I THINK about these things.
Lately I've stepped back and realized that the myriad realities I've wanted to live are already being lived FOR ME, and this first occurred to me while I was watching a few minutes of one the concerts Amy Lee held earlier this year, where she was performing her re-vamped songs for Evanescence. Part of me was thinking, "Look at her go, that's how I would do that/sing that. I'm good enough to do this TOO, if the powers that BE would just give me a CHANCE."
The more reality-based side of me was thinking, "Why re-invent the wheel, she beat you to the punch, kid, AND she's a far better pianist. Really, you're just doing everyone else in the whole world a favor by being yourself, so no one ELSE has to be..." (NOTE: I'm kinda mean.)
I'm working on being more satisfied with the fact that I have worked in more industries and jobs then I can count on my fingers, and that I have basically gotten to travel over the last couple of years, meeting long-lost family, going to beaches, exploring mountains, riding motorcycles, martial art-ing, chasing storms, being commissioned to do MORE freelance art….and I even created, drew, lettered, colored, held SIGNINGS FOR, and have gotten FAN MAIL in regards to a comic book series I made alone, that thousands of people have at least HEARD OF, by now. I have a LOT to be thankful for....SO much I do not deserve...things to look forward to...and if you will reflect on your own life in this same manner, you will find that you have it better yourself than you think, as well. The bunnies for you at the end of these rabbit trails were HERE, THE WHOLE TIME:
1) Be happy to be you and living your life....it's yours. Sometimes, that's a bad thing, but usually it's a good thing.
2) Don’t 'settle,' always strive for MORE without EXPECTING 'more' to happen, because there is very little we can control---just be ready to step back and know when you’ve done enough and you should be content, leaving the rest to what will be, and preparing yourself to accept whatever aftermath and how it will shape you.
3) Realize we all need to find our own way, no one else can for us, and SURE you are better off on your own until you can find like-minds to surround yourself with, but in the mean time, you’re literally only as alone as you want to be at any given time.
I hope that helps some of you.......because now *I* feel like I need to go draw one or more FACES MELTING.
This #%$ing $h1T was just too optimistic, and I need something to cleanse my soul.
I was unintentionally part of a production for “Collider” back at the end of June this year, and never got around to checking back in to see what became of it until the other night. Read all about that------AND MY SURVIVING A "HOSTAGE SITUATION"-----BELOW! (Gawd, I love baiting people, I think it's a sickness)
"THE SORRY LITTLE TOUR," June-Sept 2017
BACKSTORY--to promote my film-like sci-fi adventure/dark humor series "Misterguy," and my original songs/music, I started something earlier this year called the “Sorry Little Tour." Completely self-promoted-and-funded, it began in the summer with Titan Comics in Dallas, and ended with The Alternative Press Expo in San Jose in September. During those months, I had the GALL to set up and attend several signings between Dallas & Houston, even flying out alone to the Los Angeles/Burbank area to be part of Emerald Knights' independent comic creators convention on July 1st. While I was in Hollywood, I built in visits to the other indigenous comic book stores as well, in order to market my comic directly, with each one's advance permission.
One highlight during the LA leg of my tour was a signing at Meltdown Comics on Sunset Ave. I really loved working with the staff there, everyone in LA was so friendly. Apparently back in April/May when Meltdown first told me I could come on the 30th of June to do a comic book signing, I didn't know they were fitting me in on the same day they were also going to have a visit from COLLIDER----for an interview with none other than Martin Starr of "Silicone Valley"! It's so exciting, you just never know what's going to happen next or who you're going to see when you're in Hollywood, and that's why I love it.....and its amazing weather.
I'd had JUST enough time to run around and put ALL of my POSTERS/BANNERS UP EVERYWHERE, including my Misterguy promo in the front doors of the store, then set up my table with the first issue of my comic and some funny shirts that I designed, before Collider came waltzing in through the front doors.
INSISTENCE WAS FUTILE
Immediately seeing the opportunity in what was suddenly happening, I left my table and spoke with the coordinators and camera crew of Collider well before they actually had to start filming. I quickly explained who I was, that I was there with Meltdown's permission that day, and also that I had an original comic to exhibition if they could spare 5 minutes to interview me later after their main work was done. I mean, how many women in their 20's(and not tied down with a kid) are literally running around all by their independent selves like THE Lara Croft of art & music, traveling everywhere to promote her own music albums that don't suck, and actively creating a comic book series all on her own that looks/feels like it was made by a team of several people? That'd make a GREAT story, ANYTIME, if you ask ME, but common sense is just in such rare supply out there, yeah?
Anyways, my ABUNDANT HUMILITY aside, I have learned a LOT this year---namely that it DOESN'T PAY to be an "indie comic creator" because, in fact, YOU are PAYING....FOR EVERYTHING....and very few people take you seriously when it's just you and no one else is around to make you look more "important." I'll simply be working harder now than ever before to find a viable publisher for my comic and record label for my music..............but ONLY because it's a free country, and also, I may be slightly suffering from severe masochism.
BELOW: Here, in the beginning of the video, TWO of my posters can be seen in the entry doors of the store.
S'MORE BELOW: There I am in my screenprinted ribcage tanktop, military-style overshirt with shoulder-straps, and blood red jeans tucked into black boots, while SURROUNDED by merchandise and posters that only I can take credit for producing and setting up. (Reeeaaaal humble about that.)
HILARIOUS HOSTAGE SITUATION
OKAY OKAY, so, on with the story. I managed to get Collider to look my comic and they were impressed enough to allow their cameraman to take some video and pictures of my table and me while waiting for their guest Mr. Starr to arrive so they could start their project. However, they never did anything with what they captured of me that *I* know of, nor did they ever follow up for an interview, but it's not like anyone owes me anything, so no hard feelings......ESPECIALLY SINCE ME AND MY WORK PROMINENTLY, VICTORIOUSLY APPEARS ALLLLLL OVER THEIR VIDEO!! YOU JUST COULDN'T CROP OUT ALLLL THAT SORRY LITTLE SHARKY, COULD YOU!?!?!
I say that in jest, of course, because although it was hard to avoid my presence there, they could've gotten different angles if they were going out of their way to avoid me. Hee hee hee. I give 'em props.
The indirect exposure also kind of makes up for the hilarious "hostage situation" I and Meltdown's customers found ourselves in for what seemed like nearly TWO HOURS of filming. Without being offered any kind of incentive, we were simply told by the Collider crew not to talk during the filming because it would "pollute the audio." They were nice about it, but eh, it was what it was. This time would have been a TOTAL loss for me trying to talk to new customers about my work, if it were not for the gentleman seen sitting at my table there(SEE PHOTO BELOW), in the blue shirt, about halfway into the video. He had walked quietly over to where I was marooned, and picked up and read my work with me while we sat snickering over it together. That meant a lot.
Near the end of the video, when they go to 'checkout' with their merchandise at the cash register with the associate later on in the video, you can see my white poster of the little melting smiley guy that says, "MELT!! P.S: DIE" casually taped up on the counter. (below)
You're probably thinking, "Wow. Is there ANY place in that store she didn't totally try to dominate...? Gawd, kill it before it lays eggs....!" but you know something, when I GO, man, I go ALL THE WAY, I do.
"And then there's running, and, and, and screaming."
To wrap things up, here's ANOTHER apt quote from Jeff Goldblum, as he put it so eloquently in Jurassic Park(my first movie in theaters and one of my top favorite films of all time including 'Aliens,' & 'Terminator Judgement Day,'):
'Nuff said. Thanks Jeff!
With Relative Sincerity,
Yeah, and ESPECIALLY sick of seeing the iceberg one?
You know the one I'm talking about....the tip of the iceberg signifies your success, whereas the part of the iceberg that lies under the water, unseen by anyone else, is over 20x's the visible part of the iceberg and signifies all the hard work and effort that goes into your success. Blah blah blah, it's clichè, overused, doofy-----so here's MY take on it.
Look for posters of "Iceberg: What REALLY Lies Beneath" at A.P.E.
I'm not sure why it's such a difficult concept to grasp, every time, when people meet me and start to become familiar with my work, but YES, I am the *one and only person* responsible for the creation of this website and E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G on it. EVERYTHING. Every video, all the lyrics and vocals and production of every song, all the writing, and paintings, and comics and cartoons. What good does it do for me, when I'm still working day jobs like everyone else?
Well, art and music keep me in the spectrum of 'sane,' though that's not saying much because I tend to like to hover right at the brink anyway(the view is prettier, there). But maybe someday it will all be worth it, closet optimist that I am; or maybe not, and next time you try to check on this website, it will be gone, along with all social media presence. For after all, I only look at the glass as half-broken, my friend.
WAIT-----you're not my friend. Get out.
Barbra Dillon at Fanbase Press recently conducted a written interview with me about my work, my thoughts on inspiration, influences, and the creative process. Iffin's ya gives a dang, check it out at THIS LINK!
Get some popcorn, because I'm long-winded, and expecting that no one will care enough or have the idea to watch all of the videos I've done to explain a lot of things about my work, so it re-explains a lot of things.
Go.....live long, and prosper, or SOMETHING.
...to the OFFICIAL BLOG
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